Believe in yourself you’re worth it!
When we are born, we are born with a certain innocence. Our belief system is like a blank canvas. Through life’s experiences we begin to sketch on the canvas. With any luck we develop trusting, high self-esteem sketches. Most of the time we experience things in life that make us skeptical of people, beliefs and situations.
It is important to recognize all your experiences in life for what they are. Try to distance yourself from situations and analyze them, the cause, effect, and purpose. By understanding situations we can learn from them and apply them to our future situations in a positive way.
Too often events happen in peoples lives that have long term negative effects on peoples self-esteem. Sometimes it can be as simple as losing a basketball game when you were 8 and the way you felt your someone ridiculed you for doing so. How you feel as a result of something someone said is, however, exactly that how you feel. You own your feelings. Only you have the power to allow or stop the way you react or feel as a result of something that is said.
People often insult someone else in an attempt to make themselves feel better. They so desperately want to feel good about themselves that they are willing to put down someone else to do so. This never works for them and only distances themselves from others. It is important that you recognize when someone approaches you and says something negative an immediate red flag should shoot up. If you have done nothing to deserve a confrontation or insulting remark, most likely they are attempting to find some way to feel better about themselves. This is not your problem. Do not internalize it. You know who you are. Don’t let them tell you otherwise.
Sometimes parents are guilty of pushing their children too hard or even ridiculing them privately or publicly. You may have even heard them rationalize their actions by saying they just want them to do better and go father than they did. There is no excuse to ridicule a child or push them excessively into any sport, competition or other activity. If a parent is trying to make up for something they regret they will never find it within another person. The problem lies within themselves. So, if you are a child of such a parent and feel like maybe you weren’t good enough, all you can be is you. Anything more your parent was expecting or hoping for is their problem.
I know it is easier said than believed, but so often we want to please other people, bosses, spouses, parents, that we forget about pleasing ourselves. You are the only one that can please you. A spouse, a boss, a parent, whoever is just gravy. You have to start with yourself, because if you are not happy it is going to show and you are eventually going to let it affect your life, possibly blame others or push your child too hard in an attempt to find your happiness within them. It won’t work. It comes from you and only you.
Exercise:
Do you have a burden or a negative feeling about yourself? Did something happen in your life that affected your self-esteem? If you have events in your past that have affected you negatively in life, it is imperative that you deal with those feelings. Understand that you specifically are not responsible for the situation. The situation and things that were done or said created those feelings and emotions not you.
Pull out some paper and a pen. Think back to what exactly happened. Write it down in detail.
How did the situation start?
Who started it?
What was said?
What was done?
At what point did the situation turn negative?
Did you feel angry, hurt, deceived, put down?
Why?
Do You believe you were at fault?
Why?
Analyze the situation entirely. Remember, words are only that, words. They can be spoken by anyone at anytime for no reason. I could say the sky is yellow, but we all know it is blue (generally). Just because something is said does not make it truth.
Most of the time people carry negative thoughts with them. Often the thoughts are entirely based on their perception of the intended meaning. A person with a love and passion for painting can actually go through life for years believing they are a terrible painter and worthless because someone said one of their paintings wasn’t ready to be showcased with the others. Maybe the person merely meant it didn’t meet the standards for the showcase, maybe they meant it’s not in the exact style of the others showcased, maybe they meant it wasn’t aesthetically the best in their opinion. Regardless of what the person said that is merely their opinion.
The Bottom Line
Learn the difference between truth and fact. You can believe and know you truly are a good mother, but understand you are human, you are not perfect and there will be days were you may forget your child’s doctors appointment or to make their lunch for school. It is ok. That is part of life. That is nothing in the grand scheme of things.
Believe in yourself. Only you have the power to do so. Other people can believe in you, but unless you believe in yourself you will never truly find happiness.
2. You Have Rights
3. You Have Passions
4. You Have Desires
5. You Are Strong
6. You Are In Control
5. You Have the Power to attain whatever you want.
